In my practice, I most often see three major types of depression: « Depression » the « Depression-happiness » and « chronic or routine depression ».
The first is due to injustice, betrayal, offending in which the person has failed to fight, defeat, resist, win. For example, it will be a person who has been wrongfully dismissed or a person who is a victim of mobbing but who has failed to restore the situation to his advantage. It can be a person who is waiting for a trial that might give him reason but who has been waiting so long for her to be eaten with anger. It may be a child who is abused in school or a person who is under the control of an abusive spouse.
It is common for these people to have many reasons to be angry or angry but not to be able to do something about it. They were not able to defend themselves, nor to say their emotions satisfactorily or sufficiently. Afterward, they tried to block or hide these emotions, either because they considered them negative, useless or unworthy of them, or because they were afraid to talk about them. This emotional thrust leads to a deep energy block, because it takes a lot of energy to lock the anger, and all this locked energy leads to an internal vacuum that is the cause of a profound impotence. It's kind of like trying to move a car forward while keeping the hand brake pulled. This creates a kind of short circuit that generates a lot of sadness and then depression.
The second type of depression is mourning, loss. The person has lost someone or something that was very valuable to him and his sadness is such that he cannot cope with it. It's a bit like a tsunami that snatches on it with such a strength that it can't fight or recover. It is usually about the loss of a loved one, but it can also be the loss of one's home or country because of war or poverty. This can be a divorce or a breakdown. It can also be the loss of his job in a context where there is no anger or resentment, just a very great feeling of lack. Some people live it after they retire when their work was all for them.
This type of depression raises the question of resilience, the ability to recover from injury, shock, strong emotion. Not all of us are equal in terms of resilience and this is sometimes the problem. But in this category there are also those who simply refuse to bounce, often for good reasons: for example those who have lost their child and for whom life no longer makes sense without him.
The third type is depression. « Chronic » or « routine », i.e., we have been in depression for so long that we have lost sight of the root cause of depression and confused this state with a normal emotional state. The other two types of depression can become chronic depressions, it is enough that it lasts very long.
I also see, sometimes, in some patients who think they are not going too badly, a low-noise, routine depression. This condition is so usual for them that they do not notice being depressed. The reasons for this state are generally found in childhood or in fetal life: abuse, denial of pregnancy, attempted abortion, rejection of parents, family mismatch, refusal to live, family relationship problems, alcoholism of a relative... These old traumas tend to create deep loopholes in them that are activated later in life by rather similar painful situations and that is when depression really turns out. The correction of recent causes often does not allow healing, as depression is too deep-rooted and the distant past must be treated to achieve it. In addition, the body has become accustomed to a hormonal lack and it is necessary to be able to revive the « machine » endocrine to actually cure depression, which may require medication or remedies.
How to start therapy well?
A good first question to ask is: « Do you want to get out of your depression? Do you really want to act to get out of this state? Do you want to change, let go of the past, turn the page, forgive maybe, live and work again? ». It is a good starting point because there are very often resistances in them, hidden and unconscious, which one must be able to put in full light in order to move forward. The floor allows that. Some people know that they don't want to get better and they'll tell you. Others are more reserved and they are not necessarily asked this question. They are often afraid to talk about their resistance for fear of being rejected or tried. Basically everyone has the inalienable right to ruin his life, but who is close to him? The depressive therefore believes it necessary to lie a little about the reality of his condition to protect others.
The relatives often want to do too well, but they must realize that it is very difficult to help someone who seems to want to be helped but who feels blocked. The problem is the same for therapists, we regularly see people who come to heal and change and who at the same time resist consciously or not. Human beings are all more or less paradoxic and complicated, there is no shame at that. No need to judge. Depression is very hard to live with. But as long as a patient does not want to heal 100%, it will be difficult to treat or help him. And that, the patient has to realize it and make a real choice at some point. Taking anti-depressants is not that real choice, it's a crutch, a partial help. The real choice is to be helped by speech, by sharing, by honesty and to act (to do what is feared) to change one's life.
I will now share with those who are sick a trick to find out if you really want to heal. We will use the floor to do this. Just say out loud: « I agree to cure my depression » Then try to feel if it's true or false. You are normally able to feel the true and the false in you, it is a capacity that you have acquired throughout your life thanks to the questions of others who ask you what you want. When we say aloud for example « I am a table »We find the phrase ridiculous and stupid, we laugh a little. It's the mark of the fake. But by saying: « I am a human being » We clearly perceive the true. After being calibrated so, say the sentence « I agree to cure my depression » And if that sounds true, figure how true it is. Do not take into account what you believe, but listen to how it resonates with you. If this number is not 10, you are resisting it. And that's a problem. Now if it's true at 8, it's not dramatic but you have to understand that it's not optimal.
You can also check the following sentences: « I agree to heal, I agree to change, I agree to no longer be depressed, I agree to let go of my past traumas, I agree to forgive myself, I agree to move on, I agree to live, I agree to complete my mourning, I agree to let go of the person who died... » Test the sentences that you think are most relevant or invent others. Depending on the result, talk to your therapist or look for help to solve these resistances, it's very important.
It is useful to identify what type of depression you suffer because these three types of depression are not treated in the same way. Anger depression requires that anger, rage or hatred be expressed sufficiently. It can take months. You have to stop blocking your emotions to finally recover all the energy used as a hand brake. It is also necessary to find an appropriate way of expressing these emotions, which is not so simple. In general I recommend doing this alone, because no one can accommodate all our anger. Sometimes you feel so angry that you don't know how to say it, how to empty it from us. Doing this alone is possible but it is a difficult task, one must be helped by an appropriate method. Once these emotions are properly released, the condition of the patient can improve considerably until complete recovery.
Depression of sadness is longer to treat because the person needs a lot of time to mourn. Antidepressants are useful because the whole hormonal system has gone in a spin, but some people don't support them. Some natural remedies can help you in an equivalent or complementary way, inquire. In my practice I propose many corrections to help digestive processes, processes of resilience, hormonal processes, how to manage emotions, hereditary or karmic influences that could block healing faculties.
As for chronic depression, which often combines sadness and anger with much unconsciousness, I let you imagine how difficult it is to solve; Yet everything is always possible, as long as we look with conscience.
