Are you really giving yourself the means to solve your emotional wounds and find inner peace?

When you physically hurt yourself, whether it is a blue, a cut or a broken bone, you suffer for a while, you seek help and comfort from your family and doctors and while you are being treated, you start to get better. The fact that you are being cared for makes your healing easier.

Think now about moral, emotional injuries. What are we doing to cure them? Honestly. What are you doing to heal your emotional wounds? Do you have that much money? Do you know who to ask for help? Do you feel treated properly? Or do your strategies fall under: 1. I'm silent two. I'm doing three by myself. I feel helpless 4. Am I going back to suffering?

Don't you see a problem with the means? Don't you think like me we could do better? Why don't we do more to help ourselves when therapeutic aids finally exist in our society? Is it impotence (« I don't know what to do or who to see »), a habit (« I don't think about helping », « It'll pass by itself. », « I prefer to ignore my suffering ») or voluntary or involuntary sabotage (« I don't need anyone. » or « in my family we always suffer alone and in silence »).

Let's imagine for a moment that you can use all kinds of means to help you heal your emotional wounds. Consider a love breakup as an example. How to compare it to a physical injury? Is your breakup like a blue, like a tear or like a breakout? I've seen people who were suffering so much that we could compare this to an open fracture. At the bottom, 6 months of recovery after being treated in hospital. And what about you? How long have you recovered from your most difficult love breakup?

What would we do in case of an open fracture? The suffering is atrocious, our level of impotence is at maximum, we don't know what to do to help ourselves. So we're gonna... look for help and... cry or complain, a lot and everyone. So this should be done also for a love wound! Complaining and seeking help from a professional, therapist, psychologist or at least natural persons « healers » (we meet natural healers every day, a clue, in general they know how to listen without judgment).

Then complain first. Ouch ouch, maybe you don't like this idea? Have you considered what your packaging of the complaint is? Was it forbidden in your family? Are you able to talk about yourself, to share your suffering, or do you refuse the complaint as a defeat, as a terrible and unbearable cross? If that is the case, you will deprive yourself of a remarkable tool. Indeed the complaint is simply the expression of our pain, of our suffering. When you have a pain you have to complain, verbalize, express with your whole body the suffering we are feeling. Look at the kids, they always express a lot. Do you think it's too much cinema? Are you afraid you're being told that you're doing movies? And yet it is they who are right, they are not yet conditioned to pretend that it is nothing, that they are not bad, that it will be okay. Children (up to about 5-10 years old) express their suffering sufficiently so that very quickly they can move on and return to play. Adult him, control, hold, dissociate, suppress, reject, block, refoule... his suffering instead of expressing it. In the end, when he suffers, he no longer returns to play (love/work/build his ikea furniture...), he distrusts, he rejects what hurts him. He'll say, « I'd rather be alone. » and other sentences of the same acabit.

Imagine experiencing a serious emotional injury (grieving, breaking...). You need to complain alone (crying, crisis, biting) and also to compassionate friends around you to express and clear your suffering, but you also need to consult specialists who can give you solutions to cure (disinfecting, operating, sewing, plastering). You know then that you are in good hands, you know that you have done everything necessary to heal and therefore you can let go and abandon yourself to the positive change of healing. This will then be shorter and more complete and there will be no sequels!

Because what happens when physical injuries are mistreated? They make us live afterlife! Of course. A frozen shoulder, a knee, a back that blocks and we are deprived of interesting and profitable physical activities. The parallel is again obvious, the emotional sequelae are for example: stress, shyness, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of love, fear of relationships, sabotage, flight, depression, anger, rage, rigidity, phobia, addictions...

Now think of all your emotional injuries. Have they been treated? Have you taken all the steps of healing for these injuries? Is it really from the past as you assume or are they still active as time bombs, ready to make you malfunction? A small test is enough to get the heart clear: determine your current level of internal stress (from 1 to 10), then think about your injuries one after the other. Take 1 minute for each injury and recheck your stress level. If it increases much, or more clearly, if you are still moved, angry, sad, tense in your body or if you are trying to avoid thinking about it, it is that the wound is not cured.

Published in Recto Aquarius 2018